


Loving Him Was Red

by wardo_wedidit



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: Facebook, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-10
Updated: 2012-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 16:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/839086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wardo_wedidit/pseuds/wardo_wedidit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Facebook hits a billion members, and Mark decides to be brave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loving Him Was Red

**Author's Note:**

> Written on the day Facebook actually reached a billion members, because real life Zuckerberg and Saverin's posts were being nostalgic and giving me feelings. Title from the [Taylor Swift song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf8sVn38VEo), because I'm a big sap and that's no surprise.

It’s been eight years.

Eight years since Facebook launched, and now it is 2012 and it has hit one billion members. 

It’s a little mind-boggling, Mark thinks, when he thinks of the February afternoon it launched.  If he squeezes his eyes shut tight enough, he can almost feel the bite of the cold Cambridge air, the crunch of snow caught in flip flops.  He opens his eyes and stops the memory there.  If he lets it go on to the smell of Eduardo’s cologne as he leant over to look at the masthead…

He looks out into the offices.  Employees are celebrating and laughing and drinking and they’re all so _happy_.  And Mark is too, if he’s honest with himself.  But he doesn’t want to join in; not this party.  Tomorrow he and Chris and Dustin will get together and drink and reminisce and catch up, and that will be his celebration.  But not this. 

This… this is too close to a million members.  To smashed laptops and screams and the gnawing pain in his chest, to the numbers on the screen flipping over to one million and Sean’s too-tight hug, and then the lights turning off one by one and a phone call and yet another disappointment. 

And it’s not—he’s being dramatic.  He’s spoken to Eduardo.  At first they sort of ignored each other whenever they were at the same event, until eventually things thawed and Mark apologized.  Now they talk about business, when they have to, and sometimes Eduardo shows up at shareholders meetings.  They’re not friends, but they’re…  friendly?  That doesn’t make sense in his brain, but it’s what he feels.  Sometimes he’ll make a joke and Eduardo will _smile_ —the real one, not the fake, polite one Mark had become so accustomed to—and it feels revelatory whenever it happens.  And at conventions and things Eduardo will come up to him and ask him how he is, and Mark will reply, and they’ll have a conversation.  It will hit an awkward pause every once in a while, and sometimes the words won’t come out right, but that’s okay.  Mark is willing to work at this.  He’s just so happy to have Eduardo back; he’ll do anything. 

But he thinks part of the reason today is so bittersweet is because this is the first time he’s really allowed himself to _regret_.  It’s a different thing… he’s always been _sorry:_  for the consequences, and for the underhanded way he’d handled it all, and for the way it made Eduardo feel.  But regret is actually wishing he had done things _differently_ —wishing he’d communicated with Eduardo better, wishing he hadn’t been so star-struck by Sean, wishing he had been more willing to let himself be vulnerable instead of issuing a preemptive strike.  And honestly, he’s never really allowed himself to do that before, because the company survived and did well and he made himself focus on that. 

Today is different, and he doesn’t know why.  Well, he _does_ —but they’ve hit other milestones before, lots of them, and he’s always been fine.  Today it hurts.  Today he doesn’t just miss Eduardo; he misses the way they _were_.  And more. 

It’s been… _god_ , it’s been a long time since he realized he was in love with Eduardo.  It hit him like a brick during the millionth member party as he watched Eduardo walk away, all too late and much too powerful.  He doesn’t think of it often, because he knows he should just concentrate on getting Eduardo back in _any_ sense at all first, on earning his trust and giving him time, and all that stuff Chris told him way back when they first started talking again. 

But today is different.  Today is special, today is about change and progress and connection, and Mark is tired of waiting. 

He sits down at his desk, gets his assistant on the line.  “Sandra,” he says, wincing as he hears the noise of the party in the offices.  “This won’t take long, just—I need you to do something for me.”

//

And that is how Mark ends up in a cab in Singapore, approximately twenty hours later.  He still hasn’t slept, and he knows he looks a mess, and he only had one bag which made the airport look at him all suspicious, but whatever.  That doesn’t matter. 

What _does_ matter is that he is armed with a text message from Chris that is Eduardo’s address (followed by three all caps ones saying “WAIT” and “WHY ARE YOU ASKING” and “MARK I SWEAR TO GOD”, and then four ignored phone calls).  What matters is the thrumming nervousness in his veins, the big speech he hasn’t even planned a line of yet, the fact that in just a few minutes he’ll be seeing _Eduardo_.  Everything else can go fuck itself. 

He throws bills at the driver, hands shaking too hard to count the foreign currency, and rushes out of the taxi and into the apartment complex.  He takes the stairs two at a time instead of the elevator because he’s so impatient right now and he knows that would drive him crazy. 

The anxiety, the _risk_ of it all doesn’t hit him until he’s standing in front of a door with familiar numbers glaring back at him.  What if Eduardo’s not even _there_ , what’s he going to do, wait on the doorstep until he shows up?  But he pushes the thoughts away.  He made it this far, he can go a little further. 

So he swallows dryly and clutches the strap of his backpack a little tighter, steels himself and knocks on the door.  Just this once, today of all days, he can be vulnerable _and_ brave.  He’s starting to learn that they’re not mutually exclusive, and that in fact, there is so much more overlap than he once thought. 

“One sec!” Eduardo calls from inside, and there is the sound of footsteps approaching and Mark has to fight every nerve in his body screaming to bolt.  And then the door is thrown open and they both freeze. 

“Mark,” Eduardo says softly, eyes wide with surprise, looking torn and thrown and blindsided in a way that makes Mark cringe.  “What are you doing here?”

“Congratulations,” he says in reply, the word coming out too fast.  Eduardo’s brow furrows at the non sequitur, and so Mark clears his throat and continues.  “We um, we hit a billion members today.”

Comprehension dawns on Eduardo’s face.  “Oh,” he says, offering a small smile.  “I should be congratulating you, then.”

Mark shakes his head decidedly, trying to fill his eyes with all the words his can’t make himself say.  “No, Wardo, it was yours too.  Always.  Even after…” he trails off, looking at his feet.  “Yours.”

When he looks back up, he sees Eduardo catch his breath, and can’t help but think what a beautiful sight that is.  He realizes belatedly that it was probably from the use of the nickname.  Mark hasn’t said it in years; it just rolled off his tongue unexpectedly, but it feels comfortable and right and strong.  Silence hovers between them and Mark itches for one of them to fill it, but at the same time he doesn’t want to shatter the moment. 

And then Eduardo breaks out into a grin, and his eyes shine a little, and then he says.  “A million members isn’t cool.  You know what’s cool?”

Mark is so taken aback that he throws his head back and laughs, feeling even lighter when Eduardo follows suit.  “A billion members,” he answers, just for the sake of completion, looking up at Eduardo and grinning right back. 

“I guess Sean Parker did have _some_ wisdom,” Eduardo replies with a smile.  And Mark thinks _yeah_ , thinks about how much better it is to see Eduardo smile at him and joke with him than watch him scream and have to choke back the thought, _I loved you.  Don’t leave._

But he doesn’t say any of this, rolls his eyes because the _last_ thing he wants to do is talk about Sean Parker or any of that right now, but he nods.  “At least he was right about this.”

Eduardo nods back, grin more muted now but it still makes Mark’s veins hum with happiness.  “Yeah.”

And just like that, Mark knows.  This is a chance, and if he doesn’t take it now, he’s always going to regret it.  And he’s done with regrets. 

“Wardo,” he breathes, small and soft and intimate, and then drops his backpack on the floor and steps forward at the same time, putting a hand on Eduardo’s shoulder to pull him in and kiss him. 

Eduardo lets out a gasp before their lips meet, but then it’s like he melts under Mark’s hands and presses back, reaching out to cup Mark’s face with his hands, fingers grasping at the curls at the nape of his neck.  Eduardo’s lips are soft and wonderful and his hands are warm and incredible and it’s an innocent kiss, but Mark still fills dizzy. 

They pull back and Eduardo tries to step backwards and put some space between him, but Mark doesn’t loosen his grip.  Eduardo bites down a smile at that, looking bashful and blushing a little, and Mark feels triumphant. 

“Mark,” he says, like he’s trying to sound serious but is smiling too much to really get the tone right.  “Mark, it’s been forever.”

Mark feels his own brow furrow.  “Wardo, I know.  That’s why it’s going to work, this time.”

Eduardo sighs a little at that, not frustrated or upset but _delighted_ , and Mark thinks that’s the best thing.  “But you can’t still…” Eduardo begins, cutting himself off and shaking his head, looking down at their feet. 

“Love you?” Mark asks, as Eduardo looks back up at him.  “Yeah, I do.  Always.”

Eduardo lets out a sound like surrender and moves closer.  Mark is hoping they’re going to kiss again, but Eduardo just presses their foreheads together and lets out a breath.  “Me too,” he whispers, closing his eyes. 

And that is something Mark never dared hope to hear, and so he has to kiss him.

This time it's filled with desperation, with Eduardo gasping into his mouth hot and shivering when Mark clutches at his hips, and Mark letting out a needy sound when Eduardo slips his tongue inside. When they eventually have to stop and breathe, Eduardo is flushed and rumpled and goddamn _perfect_ , and Mark wants nothing more than to make him even more so.

Right now it seems like Eduardo wouldn't object to that, as he tangles their fingers together and pulls Mark inside, shutting the door behind them and pushing Mark up against it, panting a little.  Mark feels hot now, can feel the red spreading on his cheeks as Eduardo mumbles broken Portuguese into his neck between kisses and soft bites.

All of a sudden something in Eduardo seems to give a jolt all at once, and he straightens up immediately, fixing Mark with a determined face.  "This doesn't magically fix everything," he says warningly, pointing a finger to emphasize his point.

"I know," Mark answers, because he does.  He wouldn't want it to. He wants them to work and built at this so that it's something strong, something real.

"And we aren't going to rush anything," Eduardo says again, almost stern.

Mark nods and rolls his eyes a little, thinking _yeah, I know, can we get back to the part before now?_

Eduardo lets out a soft whimper, and then says breathlessly, "But we're going to get this out of the way first," surging in to kiss Mark again, swallowing his responding laugh.  And that's okay, because it bubbles back up again as Mark lets himself be happily dragged to the bedroom.

//

Later, after Eduardo has kissed and touched and claimed every inch of Mark (and Mark has done the same to him), they lay in bed side by side as Mark posts a congratulatory status about reaching a billion members.  And then he passes the laptop to Eduardo, and he does the same.

Later they will answer a phone call from a very furious Chris, who only gets angrier at Mark when he explains the situation (though, this kind of anger has more to do with " _why_ _the hell didn't you tell me_!" and comes out of love, so Mark doesn't think it counts).  It only gets worse when they get Dustin on the call, who squeals and sings and may or may not be choking back tears.

A couple months later, they change their relationship status, and it becomes the single most-liked status on Facebook.  All the activity actually crashes the site.  Mark thinks it's insane.  Eduardo thinks it's hilarious.

And even _later_ , Eduardo gives up all plans to renounce his citizenship, and finally ( _finally_ ) comes out to California; this time for good.

But all that comes later.  For now, Mark lets himself be pushed back into the pillows and listens to Eduardo murmur " _eu te amo_ " again and again and again into his skin, and whispers it back in English with so much feeling his voice cracks, and wonders vaguely how Eduardo knew what he was trying to say all along.  (He thinks maybe some people would argue that it's too soon, but there is taking it slow and then there is the point where not saying something that has been true for years upon years is just ridiculous.)

Eduardo pulls away every once in a while to look down at his face, like Mark is everything, and Mark gives back as good as he gets.  Right in the middle of one of these moments, he feels a giddy smile slip onto his face, and it spreads onto Eduardo's contagiously.

"What?" Eduardo asks, sounding as overwhelmed with happiness as Mark feels.

"Nothing," he replies as he thumbs the edge of Eduardo's smile. He shakes his head and laughs a little before he arches up to kiss Eduardo senseless, as he realizes Sean really did get this part right.

A billion is so, _so_ much better.


End file.
